When I went to the hospital for my surgery, I felt scared but also reassured; like although it is a scary and frightening place it also helps me to know I am in good hands. When I was waiting in the surgery waiting area, I didn’t know how to react, I was overwhelmed with losing control and not being strong.
I knew that I had to have surgery but I didn’t want to go. I thought I would be afraid about having another stroke but Mom kept telling me it was not a major surgery – it was in my mouth not my brain and I would be fine. So I really wasn’t so concerned about having a stroke. It was more like I was thinking about what other negative affect I might have from the surgery.
My family was really worried about how frightened I would be. Jessica stayed all day and really helped me to feel better. She didn’t know what to do so she just kept rubbing my arm and saying, “comfort” over and over again. It wasn’t too helpful in itself but because it was so weird, it actually did take my mind off of being scared so maybe she did know what to do after all.
So finally it was time to go to the operating room. My surgeon and anesthesiologist came to see me. That was a difficult reminder that this surgery was really going to happen. They tried to make me feel calm but all I could think about was “why me couldn’t another person take have my surgery instead of me?”
Then the nurse gave me an IV and drugs to relax and before I knew it the nurse was singing, “Let it Go” and I was joining her! When I reached the operating room I felt frantic – there were people everywhere telling me I would be fine and then before I knew it I was waking up and the surgery was over. As soon as I woke up I couldn’t stop talking — I guess I was making up for the last big surgery when I woke up and had lost the ability to speak after my stroke. I survived surgery and I could talk!
I made it — I had a surgery without complications. My doctors and nurses were great. My sister gave me a pig. I named him “Wisdom” for my lost teeth. I lost my teeth and found my Wisdom. I have Wisdom and I can survive surgery!